Oliver Twist
So there's this kid, Oliver, and his mom is unwed and she dies and he goes to an orphanage and asks for more gruel and gets sold and coulda been an undertaker maybe but then he got all buddies with this guy who was like some sorta batboy for the L.A. Dodgers and... crap--this book goes on like forever on account of Dickens got paid by how long it was.
It got printed a few chapters at a time in the newspaper, so like you'd read a bit and then be all "now what?" so it was kinda like a soap opera except without the babes. Anway, Dickens was all "kids' lives suck unless they're rich" but I don't think Oliver Twist had it so bad--I mean, my dad is all on my case about cleaning up the garage and most of the stuff in there is his...oh, yeah, sorry.
So Oliver gets all hooked up with these criminals, then he gets rescued by a family then he gets kidnapped and hooked up with the criminals again, then he gets shot, then he gets back with the rich people and he keeps on being little mister goody-goody and then his enemies get offed.
But Dickens, he needs like, hundreds of pages to tell you all this. I guess I get that whole "what the dickens are you talking about" now. If they'd had x-boxes back then, or even cable, Dickens woulda been history. Don't even get me started on Nicholas Nickelby...
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