Wednesday, October 13, 2004

The Kid Who Sits Behind You Explains

The French Revolution
So the French government was like all "go America--kick British butt" in 1776 but then their people wanted bread and Mary Antonio said Let em eat cake but everybody wanted french bread but who ever heard of French cake? I like Black Forest cake, but that's in Germany. Anyway, the French rich people were all "look at our fruity wigs" and "we don't bathe 'cause we spray toilet water on ourselves" (which is, to be frenchified "trey grosse") and the pheasants all were revolting and some dude named Rob Spierre set up a big cutty thing called a Gillotine and he chopped off everybody's head and burned the fruity wigs and then there was a Rain of Terror for a while until Napoleon showed up and they only chopped off his hand so he kept it in his coat but everybody thought he was reaching for a gat, so they were all "don't shoot anybody, dude, we'll let you be emperor". So he married this Josephine chick and won a bunch of wars then they put him on an island and said don't come back and somebody poisoned him real slow and then they dug him up after he croaked to look for arsenic or old lace or something.

Oh, and they sent the Statute of Libertines to America.

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