The Cynical Career Counsellor Explains Your Future as a

Medical Lab Technician

You wanna do what? Oh, sure kid. Two years at BCIT and you get to work in a little room with samples. Pass me that lighter, will ya? So, it's like this: in the real world if somebody if some stranger puts some baby batter in a cup and gives it to you, you call the police. If somebody pisses in a jar or saves their feces to give you, it's police or psych ward--your call. But no--you see, you'll give the guy the little cup and he'll go off and after a quick date with Mr. Hand you get to take the deposit. Is this what you want to go to college for? Is shaking up a test tube with somebody's crap in it a daily routine you want to take part in? If you get on the bus and some loser is pulling off a bandage to expose oozing pus, most people move as far away as possible--but not you--you get to collect that pus--what fun. And don't give me the "urine is sterile" garbage either--not the stuff from the infected scuzzballs whose pee you'll be playing with, I guarantee it. But hey--it's adventurous--think of the eve-present possibility of exposing yourself to some life-threatening disease. Oops, sorry--I should clean out that damn ashtray.