Some advice for TV exec types - Criminal Minds

As I said in the last post, there are at least two things that make Criminal Minds (a show we like in this household) ridiculous.

1. (and this is true of many similar shows) Every time there is a job opening, it just happens that the replacement is good-looking enough to be a model. Hmm, is there some sort of a perv conspiracy at the top of the FBI and every crime lab in every major US city? I realize that attractive people make us common folk more likely to watch a show, but are we so shallow that we can't have one normal looking person out in the field finding perps?

2. The delivery of the profile. This is ridiculous in the extreme. When the team has assembled the basic details they believe to be true of the "unsub" they will call all the local law enforcement folk together to share the profile. But here's the thing--they do it as a team; each member follows the sentence of the previous one with their next like some sort of well-rehearsed chorus. Even the new girl who's only been on the team for a couple of episodes pipes in.

I direct shows--if this were a scene in a play, it would need some rehearsal time to make sure everyone knew when to come in and who had each 'line'. But there they are, nobody talking over anyone else, each taking their turn, and nobody apparently reading from a script.

Are we to believe that just happens? Or as the clock ticks and the poor victim's chances are becoming slimmer and slimmer, does the team sneak off for an hour to run practices of this performance--each profiler's lines marked with different colored highlighter pens? This is the single most annoying feature of this show, and makes any pretense of realism a joke.

Well, that and the fact that Greg left Dharma and has become a super-serious never-smile FBI guy.

Some advice for TV exec types - The Office

The Office - So it seems Steve Carrell is going to be leaving the show earlier than expected. Originally, the buzz was that the Holly character would be taking over as "boss". Clearly some focus groups have squashed that ill-advised idea, and now they're looking at a variety of possibilities.

If you read the link article, you'll see options that all sound, well, like guarantees that the show will soon be gone. If you watch the show, the very idea that the Todd Packer character might be more of a regular will make you gag.

Meanwhile, the Golden Globes has once more shown us how Ricky Gervais can make us all squirm uncomfortably as he crosses several lines even in a short opening monologue. He may not have have as much name/face recognition on this side of the Atlantic as he does in Britain, but he's still far better and better-known than anyone they're looking at to try to replace Carrell.

So here's the plan: Get Ricky Gervais, who already is one of the show's producers, and who created the whole concept when he did the earlier British version, to take over as Michael Scott's replacement.

Then, go one step further. Gradually begin begin replacing the Dunder Mifflin employees with their counterparts from the original British show. Trust me, aside from Dwight, the rest of the current characters are done story-wise anyway. It's the only way this show will be around 18 months from now.

Next time: The two things that make Criminal Minds ridiculous.

Final Video Advent Calendar Entry - For December 24

Since this is your December 24 Video Advent Calendar, it's the last one, but I can't post just one, so I'm offering a variety of clips in this final installment.

First, although I posted it not that long ago, this is an amazingly well-done spoof of movie trailers.




I'm a big fan of the Improv Everywhere musicals in mall food fairs or grocery stores, or their simultaneous freeze of a few hundred people in Grand Central Station. This is a flash mob that pays homage to MC Hammer's cool pants and his cool dance moves.

I am a fan of all things Simpsons (thus the title of this blog) and this is one of the best homemade Simpsons intros--"The Estonian Version"

Dustin is one of the visitors (I think) to this blog, and a pretty funny and creative guy who plays the werewolf in this Twilight spoof.

That's all for now--hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas and a great start to 2011.

Video Advent Calendar for Dec.23

My kids would say my wife and I are already like this.

Video Advent Calendar for Dec. 22

Okay, you just need to follow the link to Vimeo to watch this full screen. The question I have is How do you learn to do this? I mean, I don't think this is the sort of activity that would be forgiving of beginner's mistakes.

Truly amazing footage.

Superior, Speed Fly from Marshall Miller on Vimeo.

Video Advent Calendar for Dec.20 (with bonus)

Here are two Rob Pavarian video clips I've posted before. The first is his classic Pachelbel Rant, and in the second we get his take on the Friends theme song and a Sugar Ray song.

Video Advent Calendar for Dec.19

40 Inspirational Speeches in 2 Minutes

Video Advent Calendar for December 17

Want to be the life of a geeky party? Try some of these scientific tricks!

Video Advent Calendar for Dec.14

This is strange but the guy has some talent. I like how you can tell the order in which he recorded them by how tired he looks.

Video Advent Calendar- Dec.13

I think I first saw this three years ago--maybe I even posted it. This is the original--there are better versions they've got on their website--plus other songs if you want to take a look. (You can get to it from clicking on this video and going to their Youtube page.)

Video Advent Calendar for Dec.12

Count the movie references.

Video Advent Calendar for Dec.11

This is ridiculous--just watching it could induce a panic attack; I can't imagine actually walking it.

Video Advent Calendar for Dec.10

This is kind of cool because it's Steve Carrell and it's Victoria. Yes, this channel (in HD) was actually on our TV for a little while today.

Video Advent Calendar for Dec.9

If you're a vegetarian, don't even try to watch this.

If you're looking for a new way to serve your main meat course this holiday season, though...

Video Advent Calendar for Dec 7

If you like Gilbert and Sullivan, you'll love this.

Video Advent Calendar for Dec.4

There are a few of these Boston Bruins bear commercials. Classic.

Video Advent Calendar for Dec.3-Cardboard Warfare

This is pretty cool, and shows how high-powered video-editing technology is becoming more and more accessible to folks who don't spend tens of thousands of dollars to be able to produce great effects.

Your Video Advent Calendar

You're probably familiar with those advent calendars with the little doors--you open one each day leading up to Christmas, and there's a chocolate or some treat inside.

Well, think of here as your video advent calendar. Today's treat is an reappearance by Speak, everyone's favorite rapper.

TGIM?

Not the most relaxing weekend ever.

First, windstorm from earlier in the week blew a couple of pieces of soffit (sp?) into the yard--you know, those metal pieces that go under your roof overhang--and also messed up our fence in two spots.

Those were to be my Saturday jobs. Except, there was snow and it was bloody cold.

Daughter's turn on Friday to bring home the "baby" for the weekend--they have several of these dolls, which are realistic-looking babies which are designed to teach students what it is like to look after a baby of their own. If it cries, it either needs feeding, burping or changing, or it just needs to be reassured that mom is nearby.

My daughter had a wrist bracelet attached which is sensed by the baby, and the bracelet is too tight for her to take off and give to someone else. (Same as a hospital bracelet). There is one "babysitter" bracelet as well that someone else can wear so they can take over her duties for a while.

Not much sleep for her this weekend. Some justice in that, perhaps--she was definitely the more challenging of our two when it came to miserable nights with little sleep when they were babies. Still, she's sick, I'm still nursing a two-month sinus/cough thing, and wife just had surgery on Wednesday. Much fun.

Then there was my son--new job on Saturday morning, and he wanted to be up bright and early to be ready to go. Tough to be alert when sister's baby has been crying loudly in the next room every couple of hours, but he did have earplugs.

But wait, there was a power outage at 2 a.m. So wife and I are trying to figure out this stupid battery-powered travel alarm clock in the middle of the night, and just as we're about to fall back to sleep fake baby starts up again. Waking up in the morning to a cold house and no lights wasn't fun. Son did get off to work though, and it went well.

At least today didn't suck--but it was very cold out there doing some of those repairs. Going back to work almost seems like a break.

Quick takes

1. One of the few readers left for this blog has something pretty cool happening right now--it's not every day you get to watch your child compete on Jeopardy. I'll be tuning in tomorrow night (Friday) as well.

2. When is it too early for Christmas music? My daughter thinks the day after Halloween is the starting point for her love for Christmas music to find expression through her computer playlist, her saxophone playing, and pretty constant whistling as she wanders through the house. I've always told her it's fine after Remembrance Day, so we're there now anyway.

3. Dear forward writers for "classic" novels. I'm one of those strange folk who has a hard time skipping pages when I read anything, and I've got a suggestion. Spoiler alerts. You might think that we're just rereading the book for the 12th time as we prepare yet another thesis on Victorian literature, but maybe, just maybe, I'd like to watch the plot unfold without knowing how it all ends. Perhaps save that part of your brilliant analysis for an afterword.

4. Ever wake up with something in your head and you don't know where it came from? Got the weirdest inspired idea ever around 4 a.m. last night--with the right help and guidance I think this could make an awful lot of money, and the window of opportunity before someone else thinks of it is probably no longer than five years, but I doubt I've got the energy or wherewithal to make it happen. I can't bring myself to give it away here, but trust me, if you understand rabid sports fans, you'd agree with me.

5. Did you know that Remembrance Day observances are the only school ceremonies that are mandated by law in Canada?

6. The gay wedding was very nice, and the whole weekend tons of fun. I may even post a few pics at some point--I'll definitely be posting some on facebook soon.

Off to go scramble to catch up with my marking since the deadline to submit my grades is imminent. More later.