Monday, July 03, 2006

The ADD Movie Usher Reviews

Mr and Mrs. Smith

Yeah this movie's believable. Just like all the James Bond movies and every other one that would have you believe that expert shooters can magically miss people who happen to be main characters in the show. Kind of like the fact they don't notice that each other are assassins even though they're trained to notice all these tiny details.

Or like how every fat guy gets the hot girl in movies like Hitch or all those sitcoms with the Jim Belushi-type guy who has the hot wife.

Still, at least Brad and Angelina are both more a match like that. But her lips--yeah right they're not enhanced. I mean, you can practically see the little air valve thing to pump them up between shots.

And Vince Vaughn? So did Brad Pitt take him aside during the breaks and say "Hey, go date my ex-wife would ya?" or what? Weird. Kind of like how all the people in the concession date all the other people in the concession. But somehow the ushers, well, we're good enough for the janitors but somehow those concession snots are all "We're bondable--we can handle cash".

And what's with their uniforms--I mean, they get those really nice black vests and we have those stupid green blazers, and we have to do ALL the garbage at the end of the night... oh yeah.

So, uhm, 3 out of 5 for Mr. and Mrs. Smith. I wonder if anyone asked her what she did with Billy Bob's blood vial after they broke up? Probably some evil mojo goin' on there...

1 comment:

:P fuzzbox said...

I have always wondered what she did with that myself. Maybe an extra little shot in a bloody mary.