Sunday, August 06, 2006

a moment for some props

...specifically giving them to my friend Carrie.

First, this pic of her was in the NY Daily News recently:









It seems it was connected to a movie she's been filming--"Good Luck Chuck".







Also, last week she was taping her second appearance on "The L Word". This time she's a Russian film actress, apparently--so being able to do the accent paid off. (Here's where I look sternly at a few people who mock me for my rare slips into an ersatz Russian accent.)

And it seems she's scored a recurring role on Smallville as the secretary of Lex Luthor's dad. It's nice to see someone who works hard get rewarded.

In a unrelated addendum to this--I just happened to be searching names at random on google, and I discover that a student in my acting class in my first high school job (the one who won best drama student in the province that year) was a contestant on Jeopardy this past February and won over 18 grand.

I wish I'd known so I could've watched.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

The Cynical Career Counsellor Explains Your Future as a

Concierge

What? A concierge? I imagine you'd have to do some sort of training for that job. Back in the old days, when the school used to do those "slave day" fundraiser things, then you could get an idea... sorry, I get nostalgic sometimes for the way school used to be. Back when you could have slave days and smoke in staff rooms and... right. A concierge.

You'll probably take some sort of hospitality management course but really, on the job is where your training will happen. You will likely have to do the bellhop gig--back in the day we called them bellboys, and by the way, what the hell is a "fisher"? Oh, right. So you'll do the bellhop thing and carry bags, maybe drive the "limo"--glorified short bus if you ask me--to the airport to pick up tourists, but then, if you're lucky, you can maybe work your way up to the night gig as a concierge.

It's kind of like being a personal assistant, but you don't just have to cater to the whims of one selfish idiot--you're supposed to make everyone happy. It's also kind of like being a pimp, but instead of selling your girls, you're pimpin' the entire city. At least there are some perks that make it worth your while.

That's the glory of this job--you get to eat at the best restaurants and drink in the best lounges for free. Feel like taking in a theatre show? On the house. Of course, there is a price--it's your shilling for them when some tourist wants an idea for dinner or entertainment. Unfortunately, it isn't just you who gets comped by these businesses--all of your bosses and managers also get freebies in return for ordering you to promote their friends' places.

You'll become the master of the "let me call and make a reservation for you" method of ensuring your kickbacks. You'll have to be smooth, though--it's expected that every concierge is never flustered by anything anyone requests, no matter how depraved or ridiculous. The customer is always right--as are the 40 members of the hotel staff above you in the pecking order who each feel it is their right to order you to attend to their whims on a moment's notice.

You won't have to stay a concierge--you could always move to desk clerk or shift manager--maybe get into the catering department. You won't, though--you like the tips you receive out front, dealing with the baser needs of the public. You also generously offer to stay on the night shift. It's simple--the darkness brings out the darker side of human nature, and guests tip more for those who don't show their disgust.

Your end will come unexpectedly--either you'll be caught in a lie to the wrong psycho husband about his wife's weekly trysts with her lover, or the government will catch up with all the years of underdeclared gratuity income you can never manage to pay back taxes on.

You'll have a great wardrobe, though. Should look good for photos when your tragic story hits the paper.