The Cynical Career Counsellor Explains Your Future As

An Architect

Hmm--nice dream, kid--you see that's what it is--a dream. You see yourself as the next Frank Lloyd Wright, but let me tell you how this will really turn out.

First of all, you'll go to school and fill your head with idealistic visions of great and inspiring creations--buildings that make urban blight a thing of the past--buildings with heart, passion. Then you'll get your first job. You won't get to actually design a building--someone else is in charge of that--you get to look after all the washrooms--34 of them--in an office building. No problem, you think--your creativity will shine even there. Then your boss explains that none of your fancy marble and brass will do--it's melamine counters, and vinyl-covered drywall. You bite your tongue and go along--something you'll get to be very good at.

Time passes--you don't get to do dream houses, urban renewal, or museums--but you do get to design your own projects--strip malls. You know, the little ones with the liquor store, the 99-cent store, a payday-loan place and some no-name coffee place. Maybe a sub stop and a pet store if you're lucky--

You dream of making a difference, but there's no money in that--besides, your take on basic bland is popular. You try to sneak in your artistry and creativity--but the project managers explain that your venetian tiling is too expensive, or the engineers point out that your fancy clock tower doesn't conform to new earthquake safety standards.

Eventually you hate leaving your home, because everywhere you go your mediocre buildings mock your dreams. More and more of your clients have home drafting/design software packages and bring their ill-informed and irrelvant ideas to you--you are barely able to restrain your desire to throttle them with your bare hands...

You finally save enough money to realize your dream of designing and building your ideal home--but then your boss--who is hinting that you will be a full partner in the company if you continue to impress him--explains that his present to you for your loyal service to to bring all of his years of architectural genius and experience to the job of creating your dream home. You struggle to take control, but he won't take no for an answer. To hold on to a job you secretly despise, you end up letting him design an abomination--it gets a few curious and unenthusiastic reviews in some architectural journals, and though you loathe it, you can never move--unless you want to give up your job security, and you've invested too much in that to let it go.

The worst part is that everyone who visits your home immediately decides you could never design anything for them....